Thoughts From a Mother of a Reformed Wayward Child

Today I want to talk about a painful subject that many parents deal with. This is the trial of having a wayward child.

Every parent has gone through these steps with their children:

First: Oh, I can't wait until he can he's born.

Then: I can't wait until she can sit up on her own.

I can't wait until she can crawl.

I can't wait til he can walk.

I can't wait until he can talk.

I can't wait til she's out of diapers.

I can't wait til she can go to nursery.

I can't wait til he can go to pre-school.

I can't wait til he can drive. (Well, maybe some of us aren't sure about that one.)

I can't wait til he can get a job.

I can't wait until he graduates.

I can't wait until she's married.

Then: I can't believe how quickly time has gone.

We all want our children to grow to be strong individuals with integrity and righteous morals. But since we all come to this earth gifted with agency, there is no guarantee that that path will be taken.

When a child strays, as parents, we have a tendency of wondering what we did wrong, or what we could have said or done to prevent or deter that child from making the choices he or she has. Sometimes we doubt our ability to be a good parent. Sometimes we wonder if God hears our pleas for the child, and wonder why He doesn't stop the child from straying off the path. Sometimes we even blame ourselves for something we might have done in our own lives and wonder if this is our punishment. This thinking could not be more wrong. I know this because I once felt these very things.

Sometimes we parents see a teenager beginning to make bad choices and try to help him or her see the consequences that are sure to follow those choices. We even try to help them see how the choices they make now will affect their future. We can see it all clearly, but the teen can't because their brains don't work that way. They think they know so much, they even think they know more than we do.

Then the teen becomes a man or woman and lives a destructive life. Does this mean we as parents have failed in our calling to love and guide this child that God has entrusted to our care?

No, it doesn't.

Basically all we can do is all we can do. We teach them what's right, then we place them in God's hands.

If you have done your best to raise your children right and one or two stray off the path that God wants them on, please don't beat yourself up over it. Agency is a powerful thing, and all you can do is pray that they finally understand that enough to use it wisely. You can't let it destroy you.

All we can do is turn our children over to our Heavenly Father - because they were His first.