What Legacy Will You Leave?

With tomorrow being Memorial Day, this morning I find myself pondering the people who have come and gone in my life and the impact their presence had on me.

When I think of my mother, I remember her loving ways and her amazing talents. Despite her life-long bout with alcoholism, she was truly a good person and did her best to be a good mother to us. Yes, she had weaknesses just like everyone else, but fortunately, I am not her judge, nor would I ever wish to be, and Christ understood perfectly how she felt and what she was going through at the time, because he felt it too.

When I think about the father I had just barely begun to know before his life was brutally taken, I remember his beautiful smile and his desire to overcome his drug addiction and live a better life.

When I think about my precious grandmother, I remember her kindness, patience, unconditional love, and unwavering devotion to her Lord and Savior. (I also remember the recipes she taught me that never included measurements.)

When I think of my grandfather, I remember picking plums with him from their huge backyard tree, getting my hair caught in the branches, and my grandfather lovingly coming to my rescue. He was a great man.

When I think about my father's mother and both my great-grandmothers, I remember their strengths and ability to overcome trials and opposition.

Each and every one of these people were very dear to me and their presence in my life helped to make me who I am. Though all were dealt painful blows in their lives, they all took part in the legacy left for me, and I want to do all I can to make them proud and let them know that legacy was not left in vain.

I can't help but think of my children. What kind of legacy will I leave for them? What will they remember about me?
Will they remember me being a good mother? A good wife to their dad? A good daughter of God? A good person?
I sure hope so. I hope that at the end of my life, they, as well as anyone else I have come in contact with, can look back and say, "She did good. She lived her best life."

I just had a thought. (At my age, hormonal emotional moments tend to come and go:-)) Every single tear I have ever shed or ever will shed in this life is worth it, but in the end, the ones that will mean the most are the refining ones. Tears over family, tears born of mourning and grief for others, tears born of the pure love of Christ. That's what I want to leave with my family, and with all of you.

And I pray with all my heart that when my time on this earth is finally done, I can stand before my Father in Heaven and hear Him say, "Well done!"

So, what legacy will you leave?

Seeking More in Life

I remember the first time I met my biological father. It was 1976 and I was twelve years old when he pulled up in front of our apartment. When he got out of his gold Lincoln Continental, my first thoughts were, Wow, he's big, tall, and handsome, and rich! Standing at six-foot-five, solid muscle, with red curly hair, green eyes, and freckles, I thought he was walking perfection. These were the thoughts of a child who had always dreamed of meeting her 'real' father, the man who would one day come and take her away to a better life.

But reality descended and I soon learned his life was far from perfect. He'd won his car and money in the Detroit lottery, which was where he lived at the time. He was married and I discovered that I had two more brothers and a sister. I was even privileged to stay with him and his lovely wife for a few days later that year and met my siblings. Sadly, my father's life began to quickly unravel.

The culprit: drug addiction.
Years later after his divorce, he moved back to Asheville, NC. (our hometown) and tried to clean himself up. After a major battle, he did somewhat. He enrolled in the local technical college, got his GED, and took some classes, wanting to better himself. He wanted more out of life. He now had goals. Unfortunately, he didn't have enough time to see his aspirations come to past.
He ended up being brutally murdered. He was only thirty-eight.

My mother was an alcoholic all her life, yet she was one of the most talented people I had ever known. She was an excellent seamstress, she could sing, paint, play the guitar, and of course, cook up a storm.
She finally put the bottle down and became sober, wanting to better her life. Unfortunately, she did not have time to fulfill the secret dreams she kept inside. Due to the long effects of alcohol, she had a heart attack and died, three days before her forty-ninth birthday.

When I finally overcame my own addictions, moved away, and married my amazing husband, I was told by others that I thought I was better than them. I have never considered myself better than anyone, and I will always remember where I came from. But . . . I was better than that kind of life. I wanted more. I had aspirations, and I still do. Some have come true and some I have yet to reach, but I will never stop seeking more in life. Yes, we should be content and thankful always, but contentment should never stunt eternal growth. Which is where our thoughts should ALWAYS be fixed, on eternal things.

God has so much in store for each of us. He has so much He wants to give us. Some of those blessings will be in this life, and some may not be until the next. Our task is to live worthy of those blessings so we can be prepared to receive them whenever He chooses to send them. He has given us all some kind of gift or talent that we should be constantly using or expanding, not hiding it away or allowing it to remain dormant, buried under grievous weaknesses, unable to grow and do what those talents are meant to do, which is to inspire others, thereby helping us reach our divine potential. We can't waste a single gift. We can't waste a single moment. 

Time is growing short, the final act of this life drawing to a close, and our time on the earth is fixed and set. Every choice we make is vital, including what we do with our time and talents. I pray every day that Heavenly Father will guide my hand and help me use whatever gifts He has given me in His service and not waste them.This is my prayer for each of us. Happy Sabbath :-)

Dreams Fulfilled

When I was about six years old, my brother and I used to sit in a field of tall grass behind our old, dilapidated house and eat two-for-a-penny cookies that we'd bought with money we found in that same field. The coins were usually dropped by alcoholics staggering through trying to get to their own poor homes.
While we ate our precious treats (we were dirt poor and indeed they were precious) I would dream. I would dream of being rescued from my abusive home and showered with with love and presents. I would dream of a new family coming to take me and my brother away. I would dream of feeling safe.

When I became a teenager I dreamed of being freed from the pain of childhood. I dreamed of one day having everything I needed or wanted in life and not having to depend on anyone for anything. I dreamed of not being afraid of people, of one day breaking free of my emotional prison.

When I became an adult I stopped dreaming for a while, becoming bogged in the ways of the world and completely losing my way. Then one day new yearnings began to enter my mind and pierce my heart. I dreamed of being forgiven for past mistakes, of being able to overcome my past, of moving on, and being deserving of future blessing and new dreams I had for myself. I dreamed of truly living life the way I was meant to live it.

Despite the evil and hopelessness that are now running rampant in the world, I still have many dreams, but most of them are for my family now, for they were my biggest dream. Every righteous desire of my heart is fixed on them, and doing everything in my power to help them stay close to Christ. Because my greatest desire is for our family to be an eternal one, and staying close to the Savior is the only way we can achieve that.
Dreams come in stages. Never stop dreaming and hoping for the future. The day that you do is the day you stop living.

Seeking Happiness

C.S. Lewis said, “And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history—money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery—the long terrible story of man trying to find

something other than God which will make him happy."

Truly, there is no happiness without God. Sure, many find a temporary fix in things and other people, but that's just it. It's only temporary.
I equate trying to find happiness without God to a man trying to find true love in a brothel. It just doesn't work out well. Man is that he might have joy. But a life without God is only half a life. A life without the Savior and the healing power of His atoning sacrifice through regular repentance is a life not fully lived, not even close.
The probationary period of this life is fast drawing to a close. I can feel it in my very being, and so can all the children of Heaven Father who are awake, alert and attentive to the powerful promptings of the Lord, urging us to get our houses in order and prepare for every needful thing. People who choose not to recognize God's hand in all that is good are sleepwalking, napping their way through this university we call life, skipping all the classes and thereby failing the life-altering courses that lead to eternal salvation. The favored statement, "Ignorance is bliss" no longer applies and will not be accepted, because it is just an excuse, and not a good one. God has placed a smorgasbord of knowledge before us, doctrinal knowledge, as well as hands-on experience that will help us grow should we choose to open our eyes, ears and hearts to what He wants from us, what he wants for us. It is ours for the taking, and He will guide us every step of the way. But it is up to us to acknowledge that He Is. The road to true happiness leads to the Father, and only in Him will we find that priceless treasure that man so often searches for in all the wrong places: Happiness.