Let Us Begin Anew

“God will help you become something greater than you ever thought possible.” ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Satan is the master of despair, discouragement, hopelessness, doubt of self-worth, and ingratitude. He can be crafty enough to blind our spiritual eyes and keep us from recognizing the

blessings in our lives that have come from our trials– or more specifically, because of them. Whenever this happens, it stalls our progression temporarily. And the more we allow the adversary to dictate our life’s course, the farther we drift from the path to God and the plan He has set for each of us.

This is a time of new beginnings, and just like we renew our baptismal covenants with the Lord each week as we partake of the holy sacrament, so we should renew our commitment and faith in the Father and the Son, and commit to be our best selves – to live even better this coming year than we did this past year, completely focusing on the Lord, remembering how far He has brought us, and anticipating how far He will yet take us if we will but keep our hearts fixed on Him.

Truly, there is no more worthy goal, because He is ever before us, and as long as we look forward to Him instead of backward, we will never be led astray.

Merry Christmas!

"Wise men still seek Him."

May we all be counted among the wise.

Merry Christmas!

A Merciful Christmas Memory

Over the past while, my mind has wandered to various Christmases and holidays through the years,

but for some reason, this morning I have been remembering the Christmas season of my eighth year. That year, my third-grade class put on a Christmas play about the birth of the Savior (something you would never see now.) We weren't dressed in costumes, but it was more a play of remembrance. The teacher assigned me a small part in which I would carry the frankincense and place it on the floor next to the gold in front of the manger. Since the teacher was narrating, I wasn't even required to speak, just carry the frankincense.

I was a very shy little girl, with good reason, and the teacher was trying to help me with this simple little part. I could never really look anyone in the eye and I constantly stared at the ground. The teacher demonstrated how I should carry the frankincense - that I should hold the small, gold sparkly canister out in front of me, moving it from side to side, walk slowly, look at the classmates in front of me on the stage, and smile. She also told me I would need to wear a pretty dress. I suddenly did not want to be in the play, but the teacher wouldn't let me back out. The woman knew nothing about my home life or the abuse I dealt with on a regular basis, but I think she glimpsed pain in me, which is why she tried so hard to help me.

She sent a note home with all the students to give to our parents about the play and what we would need. And somehow, my mother managed to find a beautiful dress for me to wear for the play. It was long and yellow, with white tulle and polka dots, and a satin ribbon around the waist that my mother tied into a big bow. She did my hair in the usual braids and tied a yellow bow around the braid at the crown. For the first time ever, I felt like an angel. When I got to the school, the teacher told me how lovely I looked. I wasn't used to compliments, and happiness and discomfort warred within me. Mama watched the play, and though I still didn't smile and barely raised my eyes as I walked, she said I did well. (She was Mama, so of course, she would say that.)

In the past, whenever I have thought back on that Christmas, as well as the ones after that, all that would come to mind was the sexual abuse that I never seem to be free of, even during this season of Christ, but by the grace of God, this year, my mind did not go there. Instead, my memories are of that Christmas play and the dress that made me feel like an angel as I walked up to place the canister of frankincense before the manger where the Christ child lay.

It is hard to find the words to tell you what a tender mercy this is.

Thinking back on it now, I can almost picture my Savior standing near me on stage saying, "I accept your offering. And though the days will soon come when all this hurt will leave you stumbling and cause you to lose your way, don't worry and don't lose hope, for it will only be for a little season, and you will find Me again. For you will never be lost to Me."

Even now, I am teary as I write this because I feel His love so strongly, surrounding me, and His arms enfolding me. And all I can think is, "Thank you, Lord. Thank you for finding that lost little girl. Thank you for showing her how truly amazing this life is. Thank you for showing her every day what You have done for her, and what You continue to do for her. Thank you for replacing all that pain with pure joy - joy in knowing that I have never been forgotten, and I never will be."

This is the joy Jesus Christ offers us. This is the gift His life and sacrifice have made possible for each and every one of us. We are His, and He is ours. He has sealed this promise with His blood - the promise of pure joy in Him.
May we all accept His gift, cling to it, and never let it go.

A Compassionate Heart

Sometimes the pain that can accompany adversity can be pretty brutal, and for empathetic people who feel things deeply for others - whether it be family or friends - it can be particularly brutal.

When I am witnessing the painful adversity of a child, a brother, a relative, or a close friend, my heart literally aches and my entire being grieves for them. Whether the trial is something that just happens or is one of their own making, my spirit still grieves for them. Sometimes the pain in their behalf is so intense, I find myself sorrowing in my heart more than I do in my own times of adversity. I could ask myself why, but I already know, and I'm good with the answer, and I know the Lord approves. There is a reason for that.

Though it isn't possible to fully understand the depth of the Savior's suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane when the sins and pains of the world were laid upon His shoulders, each time we open our hearts to the pain and suffering of others and love them with pure hearts, we are sharing our Savior's love with them, and in turn, having our own vision of what Christ did for each of us in the Garden and on the cross illuminated a tiny bit at a time.

Christ did not come to the earth just for himself, and neither did we. Christ's heart was always full of compassion, His bowels always full of mercy for others. We should possess those same attributes. They should shine from within us.

I don't like experiencing the pain of adversity in behalf of loved ones because it is too painful . . . but I will take it and love them for it.
Because the Savior did no less for me.

The Value of Righteous Women

In my daily prayers, I frequently plead with Heavenly Father to help me to be as wise as Mother Eve, to have the courage of Esther, and to possess the virtue and obedience of Mary, mother of the Savior. I frequently ponder these and other righteous women of the Bible, as well as women mentioned in the Book of Mormon.

When thinking about the latter, I feel a deep admiration for the Mothers of the 2000 Stripling Warriors. Because the people of Ammon had made a covenant to never again to take up their weapons and shed blood, and Helaman’s plea for them not to break their covenant when the threat of danger was upon them again, their sons–all of whom were not under that covenant–“entered into a covenant to fight for the liberty of the Nephites, yea, to protect the land unto the laying down of their lives.” (Alma 53: 16-17)

Their sons were young, yet when these brave youths fought for the freedom of their people under the command of Helaman, they were obedient and fearless. They fought valiantly, and as a result, all their lives were spared. Not one of them was lost. These young men had great faith and had been taught by their mothers to believe in God and not doubt. None of them had ever fought before, “yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.” (Alma 56: 47-48)

What strength, virtue, and faith these mothers must have possessed! Imagine the love of God and obedience that must have been rooted firmly in them to have made such a monumental impact on their sons with their teachings! It is amazing to me and leaves me speechless at times just thinking about it!

This is the strength, faith, courage, virtue, humility, meekness, righteousness, and holiness I desire with burning intensity. These are the attributes we should all be striving to possess. Eve, Ruth, Naomi, Esther, Mary, Abish, the Mothers of the Stripling Warriors, and so many other righteous women of the scriptures–these are the amazing souls we need to emulate in word and deed with all our hearts, because they were so like Christ, which is who we are commanded to be like.

I will never cease praying for this, not only for myself, but for all of us. Because just think of the righteous youth we will raise if we–like these women–forsake Babylon and cling to the things of God!

Gratitude for the Lord's Holy House

I love traveling with my husband for work, and today my daughter, Bailey, and I attended the Meridian, Idaho temple dedication, and we were privileged to actually be in one of the rooms inside the temple where President Uchtdorf and his sweet wife, Harriet, popped in to say hello to everyone. I think his contagious smile warmed

everyone in the room.  How grateful I am whenever I am able to participate in such a sacred occasion. How grateful I am for all the holy houses of the Lord dotting countries around the world. Heavenly Father truly has blessed His children, and the Lord rejoices when we attend His holy houses as often as possible.

We are urged to stand in holy places and be not moved, and though the temple is a most-holy place, holiness can be with us no matter where we are. Holiness can dwell within each of us when we live holy and righteous lives. We are commanded to be perfect, and of course, most of us are not, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to be.
When we are truly striving to live a Christ-like life and trying with everything in us to be obedient to the Lord's commandments, living His gospel to the best of our ability, and looking to the Savior in all things, wherever we are will be a holy place because we will carry that holiness within us.

This is what I long for, and with the Lord's help, one day I will get there. And so will you:-)

Loving Us One By One

"Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands." Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I have been reading David A. Bednar's new book, "One By One," and the thoughts he shares in this short work have brought me much comfort during the past while. The book talks about how the

Savior ministers to us one by one, not as a group, but each and every one of us individually. "He knows us one by one and name by name."
 Like Elder Bednar, I know there is no such thing as coincidences. Things happen, and people come into our lives for a reason. Sometimes those reasons manifest themselves, and sometimes we have to seek out those reasons, but God's hand is in our lives and His reasons abound, as well as His tender mercies.
"His thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are our ways His ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than our ways, and His thoughts than our thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

The Lord's classroom of life and learning is constant, the lessons bittersweet, and the tests and exams can sometimes try our endurance, both physically and spiritually. The warfare during these times can be brutally-intense.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have experienced the bitterness of spiritual warfare perpetrated by the adversary, and been sweetly comforted and strengthened by the tender mercies of the Lord.
I have a new little book coming out in a couple of weeks, and in this book, a friend and I share our thoughts on the Savior and the miracles His teachings and atonement have worked in our lives, as well as thoughts on spiritually preparing ourselves for the Savior's return. I had been trying to get ready for the book's release and I felt so much joy because of all the prayer, pondering and fasting that went into this work. God definitely helped to write it, and because of this, I knew it would do a lot of good.
The problem is, Satan knew as well.

I was on my way home from a dental consultation when I began to feel sick. I have felt nausea on and off for months, and had been misdiagnosed before our anniversary trip to Italy in August. With a couple of medications, it has eased greatly and I had been able to enjoy the trip. However, this new bout of sickness came from nowhere. It was 60 degrees and I was driving with the air conditioner on full-blast. The nausea increased, so I rolled the windows down, all the while praying I could make it home. Then my hands and feet slowly went numb and I quickly pulled into a shopping center parking lot. I seriously felt like I was going to die, and I managed to make my fingers function enough to call my daughter and tell her I needed her to come and get me, which completely freaked her out and made her emotional.
After hanging up, I continued to cry and pray. Then the numbness began to fade a little. I quickly called her back, hoping I'd caught her before she got too far, and told her I thought I could make it home. I sat for a few minutes longer, praying and waiting for the nausea to let up a bit. It did, so I pulled back out and continued home. Within two miles of reaching home, the cycle began again, and all I could do was cry and continue to pray. I made it home and had to sit in the car for a while before I could even make it in the house.
For a week, I couldn't drive or go anywhere. I tried to take care of the things I needed to, but the sickness made it almost impossible. I couldn't attend the temple that week, which depressed me. There were times during this illness that I found myself wishing the Lord would take me. I knew there was still more for me to do in this life, but I was tired. I had no idea at the time that my friend, who co-authored the book, was going through a major bout of warfare himself.

After a blessing from my husband and some inspired insight from my mother-in-law (who as it turned out had dealt with almost the same issue at one time,) I began to get better. And though I am still dealing with the sickness on and off, I am able to do what I need to do now, and I was able to return to the temple, which completely rejuvenated my spirit.
During this illness, what has brought me the most comfort was the sure knowledge that the Savior knew and understood exactly what I was going through, and He still does. He is - and will continue - to see me through the trials I face in this life. As long as I never let go if His hand, He will never let go of mine. He knows ME, and He ministers to me according to my needs. He lets me know that I am never left in the dark. The Lord's light shines bright, and it had illuminated the adversarial darkness that attempted to surround me. And I know with absolute certainty, that as long as I use what gifts and talents God has given me to glorify Him and His Son, nothing will stop that work.

As I sit finishing this post, the words from a gospel song my grandmother listed to years ago are flowing through my mind:

"I don't feel noways tired,
I've come too far from where I started from.
Nobody told me that the road would be easy,
But I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me."

May we all lean on the Lord during times of triumphs and trials. He loves us individually, has paid the price for us individually, and loves us one by one. May we never turn our back on His love and ministering, and may we always have grateful hearts and trust in His ways, for He sees the bigger picture, while we only glimpse it. May our love for the Lord open our eyes and ears, that we will one day- through purifying and sanctifying- gain the clarity needed to widen our view of the Master Plan, which is forever right in front of us.

Answering Prayers

I have had so many prayers answered through the hands of other people - people who acted, not realizing that they were the answer to my prayers. I have tried to listen to the spirit and do the same.

Praying for others is always a good thing, and sometimes, depending on the situation, it is all we can do. But there are other times that require more, and those are the times when we should allow ourselves to be used by God to bless a life.
Those times are the best:-)

The Hard Knocks of Life

This comic just made me smile and then snort, but it was a happy snort. While many probably share the sentiments of the screw, I have adopted the attitude of the nail. Each time life hits me with

something and I survive it, man, do I feel stronger because of it! I learned long ago that it is all in the attitude. Sure, I still have my down moments, but I don't let myself stay down.
That is the key.
God wants us to looks on the hard knocks of life as teaching and refining moments. Depending on our obedience, they can be part of the all-important, slow sanctification process that we should all be moving toward.
I don't pray for trials, but I do pray for an increase and strengthening of my faith, which inevitably brings trials. But that's okay.
Life is a university of spiritual preparation that seems so long to us, but is just a blink when compared to eternity. I don't know about you, but I would rather take advantage of this time of steady internalization and study of the important things than wait until the last few minutes and try to cram for the final. In this instance, I don't think that will work out well.
Happy Sabbath!